Disclaimer: This blog post is about my personal journey and is provided for informational purposes only, and does not intend to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are concerned about your own substance use, consider talking to a doctor or healthcare provider. You’ll find more information here.
July 31, 2023: I’m absolutely delighted to share that I haven’t had any alcohol in a year!
Although I’ve encountered challenges along the way, I’m happy and relieved to be sober and beyond grateful to my supportive husband, children, family and friends, doctor and therapist.
Coaching and self-coaching have also been crucial supports for me in this journey.
If you’ve ever considered giving up drinking, my story may sound familiar. I started drinking at 15. My father was an emotionally abusive alcoholic and many other adults in my circle were heavy drinkers. As a teenager, it suddenly seemed socially acceptable to use alcohol to numb my anxiety, to feel more social and less self-conscious, and to relax. Yet I would often feel shame after a night of drinking.
Once I started working full-time after university, I curbed my drinking to more socially acceptable levels and times. But even one alcoholic drink has always made me crave MORE. I’ve never understood how other people could easily have only one drink (or no drink at all). I assume that I’m wired differently given my family history of addiction. (Fortunately, my father joined Alcoholics Anonymous and has been sober for over 25 years now.)
When I was juggling senior work roles and raising two kids, I used alcohol as a “treat” to soothe my worries and cares. Even if I only had one glass of wine on a weeknight or five glasses on a weekend night, deep down I always craved more and knew that it was a harmful crutch for me. I was always thinking about when I could drink again and “relax.”
When I joined a women’s coaching group at the age of 50, I finally learned the power of self reflection and daily mindset work. I had expressed my worries about drinking to my coach but didn’t do anything about it at first. Years later, through self-coaching and mindset work, I accumulated enough evidence to acknowledge that drinking was hurting me and my ability to be fully present for my family and friends.
At 52, I shared my concerns about drinking with my family doctor, who helped me manage anxiety and referred me to therapy focused on addiction and abstinence. That course of action was incredibly helpful for me, and I stopped drinking altogether. I know many others who have found support via Alcoholics Anonymous and other programs.
Each day in my self-coaching mindset work, I commit to not drinking. I use other coaching tools to work through my anxieties, worries and fears, and to reframe unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that might hold me back. For example, I acknowledge my former belief that “life without alcohol is boring,” and practice my new belief: “I’m learning new ways to have fun as a sober person.” (And I am!) Daily reflection helps me observe that I feel great not having hangovers, but also that it’s hard for a recovering people pleaser like me to feel all my feelings all the time. Coaching from Anastasia Hendryanto has also been helpful with my evolving goals.
Today’s one year milestone is just one step in my sobriety journey. I will continue to use coaching and self-coaching as a vital support for me. (Therapy is also amazing for many.)
It took me 38 years to decide to become sober. I know from personal experience that it’s never too late to make a change in your life. If you’re a woman who is ready for a change, be sure to book a free call with me.
